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10 dating lessons from sex and the city

(Except that instead of getting books, I'd just get a heart boner over a teenage boy.) And here I am, years later, and things have certainly changed: My V-card has a zero balance on it, I've dated a guy I proudly called my "Aidan," and I have a wonderful group of girl friends who have become my second family. I was 14 years old; the last thing my parents wanted was to get cable and have me get ideas from these four fictional women—Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes, and Charlotte York—and then try to cash in my virginity like it was a gift card to Barnes & Noble.

bestowed upon me: Lesson #1: If Your Face Is on a Poster, a Penis Will Be Drawn on It. pretty much has a master's in Strangers Love Drawing Dangling Peens on Successful People's Faces.

And, yes, this is a De Vry University degree, and, no, the credits you currently have will not count if you transfer over to this school. Embrace that and quit holding out hope or, worse, getting back together with someone who is stringing you along.

The point is that some New Yorkers don't give a damn about your good fortune, especially when it's photoshopped and staring them back during the morning commute. Yes, I do get that things worked out with Carrie and Big, but that's because this is TV and not real life.

So the best you can do is hang out near a bus or a subway like you're a little kid waiting for Santa to come down the chimney and snap a photo of your poster as soon as it's up because in about 20 minutes a Sharpie-colored peen will look as though it's crashing into your head like it's the crashing into planet Veridian III. Accept When a Man Don't Want You and Move on With Your Damn Life For six long seasons, we watched Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) go back to Big (Chris Noth) time and time again after he had consistently showed that he had commitment issues. He didn't want to introduce her to his mother, which is a red flag that would make any smart person react the way I do when a yoga instructor says to hold a really difficult pose for 10 more seconds: Real talk, if you're dating a dude and he's treating you like the private window tab in Firefox that he uses so the messed up stuff he's googling doesn't appear in his browser history, then—repeat after me, readers—he. In real life, he will end up with someone else and will post pictures of his kids on Facebook.

Lesson #2: Learn How to Be Like Your Bank and Accept Direct Deposit Without Questions A. Lesson #3: Walking Around New York City in Heels Will Jack Your Feet Up and Piss Off Your Friends I know, I know. make rocking four-, five-, and even six-inch heels seem glamorous and fabulous.

But by now, we've all seen the pictures online that show the actresses wearing UGG boots when not shooting a scene.If you attempt to walk around NYC all day in sky-high heels like these characters, by the time it's lunch, you're going to collapse to the ground and say...Meanwhile, your friends will cuss you the hell out like this is a challenge and they can't win unless every person crosses the finish line.So wear your sneakers or cute flats and save the drama for your mama.Lesson #4: This Show Was the Pavlov's Dog for Materialism I love how Char reacts to the affair the way I do when I take an apple from the bottom of the pile at Whole Foods because it looks the best, but doing this make the entire pile crash to the ground: ![tumblr inline mnkonw MCc F1qz4rgp]( MCc F1qz4rgp.gif) Later, she gave Carrie a stern talking to about getting in the middle of someone's marriage.Only a good friend would tell you what you don't want to hear so you can snap out of your shady behavior.Hold on to this friend because they will let you know when you're about turn your life a *Fast and the Furious* 10-car pile-up and then try to help you get back on track.__Lesson #10: No Man Wants to Put Up With You If You're Going to Turn Your Wedding to Him Into the Ringling Bros.and Barnum & Bailey Circus__ In the first *Sex and the City* movie, Carrie and Big's wedding gets out of hand.What originally was supposed to be small ceremony ballooned into a 300 guest extravaganza, a *Vogue* photo-shoot spread, and countless other over-the-top shenanigans.

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