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Problems with dating a widower
Since the launch of just over 20 years ago, online sites and mobile apps for dating have gained freight train-like momentum, providing millions of singletons worldwide with an easy way to connect with new potential love interests.However, there's no doubt that everyone comes with his or her fair share of emotional baggage, the weight of which differs depending on the individual.Maybe they're new to the dating scene and are nervous; maybe they've just come off the back of a long-term relationship; maybe they're grieving for a loved one and are struggling to come to terms with their loss.
If you find yourself getting involved with a person who is bereaved by the death of a spouse, your dating experience is probably going to present some unique challenges. Everybody experiences it in different ways and at different times.
It might be that one widowed person is ready to date again within months, while others may still be struggling to move on years after their spouse has passed away.
A study conducted in 1996 found that, by 25 months after a spouse's death, 61% of widowers (men) were either remarried or in a new romance compared to just 19% of widows (women), but this is by no means a case of 'one size fits all'.
Patience is therefore of the essence in the early days of dating, as both you and your new partner will be trying to weigh up if this is a road you are ready to go down."The widow or widower is either ready to move on or they're not.
You're not asking them to forget their memories, you're simply asking whether they are ready to start a new relationship and take the next step in their life.
If the person you're considering dating decides she or he isn't sure or ready, they need more space and time to recover from their loss.""When I was ready to start dating again after being widowed, I made it clear that I didn't want to speak about my late husband.
Even just saying it would make me cry for some time. [My partner] accepted it, although he acknowledged it made him feel as though I didn't let him into my life.
Thanks to his patience, after about two years I finally felt ready to open up in very small doses."This person has been, and probably still is, going through a really tough time.
If you want this relationship to work, then you're going to have to be understanding of their situation and what they are going through."Unlike in other relationships, your date's late partner remains very much a part of their lives.
You shouldn't be intimidated by it, simply accept and understand it.